Meeting your online date: the do's and don'ts



How to Meet Someone Online

Steps

Choosing the Online Venue

  1. Decide exactly what kind of people you're looking to meet in order find the relevant websites and applications.Since most of the relevant websites and online applications will cater to different types of meet-ups, it's important to know from the get-go who you're looking to meet. For example, while eHarmony and Tinder are both great for meeting potential romantic partners, eHarmony is often frequented by individuals interested in serious, monogamous relationships, and Tinder is mostly populated by individuals interested in hook-ups.

Creating a Profile

  1. Carefully decide how you can put your best foot forward.What people see of you on the Internet will determine how you will be perceived--there are no second impressions in the online world. If you're posting a picture of your face for a dating site, choose a flattering image taken with a quality camera. If you're writing a short description of yourself on a forum, choose to highlight your most exciting and unique interests. Write in complete sentences and and with proper spelling. Keep everything short and to the point; people often spend little time composing their judgment of you.
    • What your "best foot" is depends on the online venue. Before creating your real profile, it can help to create a blank profile to browse a site--this way you can see what kinds of profiles are expected of users.
  2. Keep your profile honest.While it is important to maintain whatever level of privacy you feel is appropriate, it is also important to be truthful in whatever information you do put out on the Internet. If you ever intend to meet your online conversants in person, you want to ensure that they're interested in meeting the real you. Additionally, staying truthful is an important element in building trust in an online world often considered dangerous and unsafe.
  3. Complete your profile in its entirety.Filling out your entire online profile is useful in getting others to engage with and respond to you. It makes you seem invested in the website or application, it makes you appear more trustworthy, and it makes you seem more interesting and worth talking to.

Messaging Other People

  1. Familiarize yourself with the social etiquette of the website or application.Each website and application entails different social expectations, some of which may be unmentioned. Browse the Internet to determine what forms these expectations can take. It is often considered common courtesy, for example, to message a distant acquaintance on Facebook with a brief greeting before adding them as a friend. If a website or application does list any social expectations, of course, it is good practice to follow them. Many online forums, including the more updated and newfangled Reddit, will list their rules of engagement. Breaking these rules can lead to social exclusion and, at worst, banishment from the site or application.
    • Note that online forums will often contain different messaging boards with their own unique sets of rules--don't presume that one subforum's rules will necessarily apply to another subforum. For example, Reddit's messaging board "askphilosophy" permits you to post open-ended questions, but its messaging board "philosophy" only permits you to post questions that are followed by some sort of argument or position.
  2. Engage with the online community!Meeting people online can be incredibly intimidating, but at some point the only way to succeed is simply by going forth and actually engaging people! Remember that the relative anonymity of the Internet means that you'll be able to retreat from uncomfortable situations at any time, which is helpful to remember if you end up needing to escape an awkward interaction. On the other hand, this same anonymity is what enables certain individuals to act more rashly or harshly than they otherwise would, and so it is important to disengage with these individuals and realize that their opinions have no bearing on the real, offline you.
  3. Stay safe, and always proceed with caution.The anonymity of the Internet also means that you can never quite be assured of who you are dealing with. Never give out more personal information than you are comfortable giving out. Never agree to go anywhere or do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Trust your gut feeling about a situation.
    • If you ever feel threatened, reach out out to the moderators of the website or application or find the link to report the individual in question. If you need additional support, you can contact a cyberbullying hotline managed by people who understand your situation.

Meeting in Person

  1. Respectfully ask if the other person wants to meet up in real life.You may never have any intention of meeting your online conversants offline, but if you do, it's important to ask them appropriately and respectfully. Don't ask any information of them you wouldn't like to provide yourself. Offer a safe, public space for meeting up (for both your protection and theirs!).
  2. Show up before your arranged meeting time, and groom yourself well.Meeting online conversants offline is not all that different from meeting anyone else in the real world. You can't impress someone if you aren't trying to impress them. Treat the other like you would a friend you hadn't seen in years: with warmth, interest, and a respectful degree of personal space and distance. Keep in mind, however, that you are mutually strangers to one another, and that you both know very little still about the other--it takes time to build intimacy, and online intimacy is worlds apart from offline intimacy!

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  • Never take everything someone says online to be completely true.
  • Use humor to break the ice with new people you meet.

Warnings

  • People you meet online are not always what they appear to be.

Things You'll Need

  • Internet connection
  • Social website accounts

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Date: 02.12.2018, 09:16 / Views: 45382